Every year on June 30th, I celebrate my birthday. However, lately, I haven’t been looking forward to the yearly tradition of dinners out and candles on cakes as much as I used to.
Unlike when I was a child, as an adult, I don’t particularly enjoy celebrating myself or having a day set aside just for me. I almost feel guilty knowing that the day is coming up again. Another reason I don’t like birthdays is because it’s simply a reminder of getting a year “older.” I’ll be 24 this year, and there are so many milestones that people who are my age have hit that I haven’t. I’m sure the enemy realizes this about me and relishes knowing that there are so many seeds of doubt he can plant specifically on that day.
As I thought more about why I dread the last day of June every year, I began to pivot my mind and imagine what God thinks knowing that.
And then I felt guilty for an entirely different reason.
How heartbreaking must it be for God to look down and see His children dismayed by the day He gifted them with their first breath? How painful must it be for God to know that just because I don’t have a husband or children yet that my life is any less worth celebrating?
It brings tears to my eyes knowing that this day that God filled with so much goodness and life is the same day that Satan chooses to taint with discouragement and worthlessness. Whenever I feel the devil misconstruing my beliefs about my celebrationworthiness, I open Psalm 139 to remind myself how valuable I am to the One who created me.
Verses 13 and 14 of this Psalm are well known, yet beautiful to re-read. However, I’d like to focus on the following 2 verses that don’t get recited as often–
“My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book, they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.”
Before I had a name or drew my first breath,
I was known.
I was loved.
I was adored.
I was born with a purpose.
And I was designed with intention.
Why is it so easy to forget what masterpieces we are to God? To forget how even though not all our days have been lived, they have been carefully and steadily written? To forget that we are not accidents but blessings to those who love us?
My life is God’s perfect gift to me, and how I choose to live my life is my gift back to Him. I don’t think birthdays exist to put us on pedestals or glorify ourselves, but quite the opposite. I believe birthdays exist to honor and exalt the One who made us. Although we may receive earthly gifts on this day, our primary purpose is to thank our Lord and Savior for the eternal ones.
I’ve changed my perspective on birthdays because they’re no longer solely about me. They’re about God. I hope those who choose to celebrate me this month know that by celebrating me, they’re directly celebrating our Creator. By shifting the reason for celebrating off of myself and onto God, I’m delighted to show up on that day just as I am.