For years I would look at myself in the mirror and pick out every imperfection. Every flaw. Every part of myself that I desperately wanted to change.
I thought I wasn’t pretty enough to be loved or confident enough to fit in. That’s where I believed a lie. A lie that said I would never be enough. This lie breathed words of insecurity and discontent into my everyday life without me even knowing it.
This never-ending battle in my head always left me feeling weak, left out, and insignificant. The expectations of how I should look took up precious space in my mind and even more room in my day. Hours would go by, standing in front of the mirror, wishing I could simply think away my flaws. And then hours more googling infinite yet useless answers to a surface-level “problem”.
I thought my outside appearance defined me. I thought I was only as good as I looked. It’s not easy letting go of the spoken and unspoken opinions of the world, along with the expectation that outward beauty is quintessential for finding love or living your best life.
I believed the world to be the only source of defining beauty. I would use harmful words to limit who I was. I unknowingly imprisoned myself with my own thoughts and my own tongue.
If you think about it, the devil can’t curse you. But you can curse you.
Satan uses the world and the people in it to dictate what you know to believe about yourself and everything you think you’re not. He understands that the words that hurt the most are on your tongue. The devil’s entire strategy is to get you to curse yourself. Therefore, we have the power to become our greatest enemy or our greatest friend.
We’re fed such deceptions and intentional untruths from a young age. Yet, Satan’s power lies within us. Which is both dangerous and life-giving. The devil’s influence can destroy your identity if you let it, or you can choose to cling to the truth that your Creator is all-powerful and that His way is the only way that leads to everlasting life. The choice is yours.
I still struggle with looking at the filtered, edited versions of someone else’s life and wishing that fictional perfection upon my own life. Maybe if I scroll long enough on this influencer’s Instagram, I’ll uncover the invisible ink for attracting the same beauty and success she has.
The reality is this– I can never be her. God didn’t design me to be a copy of someone who already exists. He has unique plans and blueprints for my life. If I took the time to stop looking at the rehearsed production of everyone else’s lives, I wouldn’t always be searching for the roadmap leading me back to mine.
Life will pass us by if we’re too busy envying someone else’s design. Someone else’s purpose. God doesn’t make mistakes. So every time we question and doubt our Creator’s handiwork, we say He messed up when He created us. He used the wrong colors to paint us and picked the wrong tool to sculpt us skillfully in His image.
To question God is to deny Him. We can’t have a life with Him if we don’t first accept the life he’s already bestowed upon us. The value God sees in us is indisputable- so much so that he gave the priceless gift of His son- Jesus Christ- to save all mankind.
Even now, I still have days where I don’t 110% believe in myself. Not because I don’t want to, but because I’m human. I’ve come to understand that’s okay because even amidst the comparison culture we live in and opinions that constantly hijack my life, I fully believe in who God says I am.
Both on the days where I feel like a 10/10 and on the days where I don’t want to get out of bed.
I believe in myself, not through my knowledge or my ability, but because God created me to be capable of more than I’ll ever know.
That’s enough for me and can be enough for you too.