What Does your Worship Say About your Heart?

A few years ago, I used to have one foot in the world. I lived on a tightrope of knowing God and craving the world. I would sit in a church pew and pretend to have it all together.

At some point along the way, I lost sight of why I was sitting in church acting like I was worshipping God. I assumed that since it was the right thing to do, it was the only thing to do. I convinced myself if I went to church long enough, I would transform into the perfect, godly woman. 

I felt like I was only going to church for other people. Self-recognition and status replaced the desires where reverence and praise should have been. I let the affirmations of others define my worship, and in turn, my worship (or lack thereof) began to define me.

Was my worship God-honoring, or was it self-esteeming?

The longer I stayed in this mindset, the easier my worship became. It took the form of a checkmark on my Sunday To-Do List. It satisfied my need for God. He watched as I chose other less insignificant tasks and hobbies over indulging in His love and presence in my daily life.

Is an hour a week sufficient for the God who designed my hours and knows the substance of each one?

He looked on as I placed Him on the sidelines and accepted a position in my version of the starting lineup. He witnessed as my no’s for spending time with Him turned into yes’s for spending time with the world. God attended all my seasons of not choosing Him and patiently waited for the season where my choices were only found in Him.

God doesn’t give us scraps of His love, so why do we find it so easy to provide him with the scraps of our days?

I ached for a relationship with my Heavenly Father. I didn’t want to live my life feeling like I needed to know God because it was good for me. I wanted to live my life, longing for ways to get closer. I want to feel His absence when He isn’t put first. 

God doesn’t need us to engage in lukewarm worship when His ultimate desire is our total commitment to Him. When worship becomes easy, it underlines the true intentions of our hearts. And I believe that anything worth having in life requires effort. 

Relationships. 

Families.

Degrees.

Jobs.

So if our relationship with God requires minimal effort, what does that say about our dedication to Him?

Proverbs 13:11, the Bible says, “Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathered by labor shall increase.” Wealth here doesn’t just pertain to economic prosperity because true wealth shows up in other, more meaningful places– like our relationship with God. Therefore, if our labor remains diligent toward the Kingdom, our reward will be adoration for His continual presence in our lives.

Our love for God will grow deeper as our respect for His worship grows more sincere. 

My worship to God shouldn’t welcome applause. His worship is warranted.

My trust in God isn’t just comfortable. His promises are accountable.

Today and every day, I choose to have both feet planted firmly on the solid ground that the God we honor and worship deserves more than the scraps of our love and the leftovers of our days.