Lost and Found

I once was lost. Lost within an ever-changing world. Lost within a self-centered culture. Lost inside deep holes I had dug for myself.

 

The definition of lost is being unable to find one’s way.

 

For years I wandered this life not knowing who I was. Not recognizing that my purpose for being on this earth was beyond the confines of my own wants and needs. I built an entire infrastructure to define who I was, existing solely on an unstable foundation of everything I was not.

 

I wasn’t humble; I was self-centered.

I wasn’t serving; I was profiting.

I wasn’t joyful; I was discontent.

 

It wasn’t that I didn’t try to add these fruitful characteristics into my life at some point. I did. It’s that I included them in a way that put me first. What would I get out of being more kind? What would I get out of being more generous?

 

My intention for everything I did was so focused on me that I lost sight of who I was being more kind for or giving more to.

 

Not only did I lose who I was in life, but I also lost sight of the One who gave me life.

 

I recently lost my job. I chose to leave, but it was still a loss I needed to grieve. But I realize now that I wasn’t mourning the loss of not having a job; I was mourning the loss of myself. I didn’t know who I was without my career. I didn’t recognize myself as being unemployed.

 

I had given pieces of my life away to work a 9-5 without realizing that my entire existence had become dictated and defined by the outcomes of my job.

 

How big were my paychecks? Was I next in line for the promotion?

 

Whenever I didn’t achieve something, I destroyed my self-worth with the failure of that underachieved thing.

 

I get that working is a significant part of life and can be one of the biggest parts of some people’s lives. I, too, fell victim to giving my job a higher pedestal than myself. But even that pedestal still received a higher place in my life than God.

 

So I had two problems. I unknowingly gave myself away to my job. And since I had no regard for myself, I positioned God beneath it all.

 

Putting God last doesn’t make Him the foundation of our lives. Only when he’s put first can he withstand all the other blocks we lay down after His rightful place–

 

In our lives. 

On our to-lists. 

Within our overflowing plates and underfilled cups.

 

The beauty of God’s nature is that he meets us where we’re at and calls us to come back home to Him.

 

Just like the Shepherd who goes out looking for his one lost sheep who strayed away, God never ceases to rest until we are found.

 

Just like the prodigal son’s father welcomed his lost son back and celebrated his return, God welcomes us back with open arms whenever we accept our separation from Him and turn back toward our true home.

 

I was lost, but now I am found. I’m still picking up the pieces of the life I had before. But instead of putting them back in the same way I had them, I’m cementing a new foundation with God as the cornerstone piece and structuring everything else around Him.